You've been a Dispatcher too long when...

You spend more on fast food than on utilities.
You answer your home phone, Dispatch & You answer your dispatch phone with Hell instead of Hello
The only thing that gets your adrenaline going is the walk to and from your car.
You find humor in other peoples misery.
Youre only happy if you have something to complain about.
You consider patience is a weakness, not a virtue.
Your idea of a good night involves someone getting shot, chased or dismembered.
You have forgotten what its like to actually eat a warm meal.
Your dog doesnt recognize you and the kids think youre just the person who drops by every now and then to bring groceries and do the laundry.
You have forgotten what sex is.
You truly believe that stupidity should be painful.
You have ever had to put the phone on hold so you could laugh hysterically.
If an officer screamed over the radio that a nuclear bomb had just detonated, you'd just ask the 20 of the mushroom cloud and assign it an eight digit case number.
Dinner consists of a 2 liter bottle of soda and whatever you can scrounge out of the vending machine.
You see nothing wrong with discussing abdominal evisceration over dinner in public restaurant and then wonder why all the tables around you have cleared out.
You hear a fire engine or police car go screaming past your house and you wonder not whats happening, but who is going.
You read newspaper accounts of a major incident that occurred during your shift and can point out all the incorrect information, and then laugh about it.
Family members comment about how nice you used to be before you started this job.
You believe in aerial spray of Prozac and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.
Everything comes in 3's
You believe the full moon makes people act crazier and meaner thatn normal.
You have no idea what a holiday is, other than its the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.
You can carry on more than 4 conversations simultaneously.
You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck.
You can resume a conversation with coworkers 4 hours later, in mid-sentence and everyone knows what you are talking about.
You have a long-term telephonic relationship with one or more paranoid schizopherenic PTSD suffering relatives of a public official.
You have ever had to explain to a college educated, gainfully employed, tax paying property owner that: His/her childs lack of interest in vegetables was not a police matter.
You inform your new teenage driver, I will always know
You have ever muttered the phrase : They let him carry a GUN?
You get impatient listening to people relate a story- you want just the facts.
You believe that 90-95% of people cant look up a telephone number.
You get easily bored with happy content people.
You have perfected the phrase I pay taxes too.
You can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and type request into the computer at the same time without missing anything.
You think it is funny when a regular client kills himself while breaking into a business.
You can give directions to any location in your city off the top of your head.
You can relate a 10-minute story over a 2 hrs time period, after many interruptions, without loosing your place.
You see stress as a normal state of life.
You refuse to allow anyone to say Have a Quite shift.
Your friends and neighbors call for legal advice.
You can give anyone the exact address of every bar in your jurisdiction.
You question the motives of anyone who makes an effort to get to know you after they learn your profession.
You know the phone number to every restaurant or business that delivers food, especially late at night.
You spell everything phonetically.
You can only tell time on a 24-hours clock.
You acknowledge your friends and familys remarks with the time.
You tell cops where to go without fear! (and have no problem telling them HOW to get there)

wnc911dispatch @ yahhoo groups

Pickles

There are just some moments you are so glad happen when you have a camera, this was one

of them. My oldest godson eating Pickles.

Day @ Nanny's House